


Kirk & Spock Watch Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

by austin_powers



Category: Austin Powers (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Austin Powers - Freeform, Crack, Gen, Groovy vibes on the Enterprise, Mamma Mia (mentioned), but just know in ur heart that they are both absolutely homosexual, no kirkxspock in here unfortunately, the ballad of bilbo baggins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:27:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26414887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/austin_powers/pseuds/austin_powers
Summary: When his best friend in the entire universe, Captain James T. Kirk, IMPLORES Spock to watch his favourite movie with him, Spock makes the logical decision.
Relationships: James T. Kirk & Spock
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Kirk & Spock Watch Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gene Roddenberry ;-)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Gene+Roddenberry+%3B-%29).



> This probably belongs on the likes of f*nf*ct**n dot net, but oh well, here it is ;-)
> 
> star trek was made in the '60s and austin powers is about the '60s so I thot it was a match made in Sto'Vo'Kor <3

“Captain’s Log, Stardate 420.69. Hey guys, and welcome back to my Log. If this is your first time listening, I’m Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the USS Enterprise. Anyway, tonight, I’m indulging in my second-favourite pastime; watching classic Earth films. And guess who’s joining me today…. Groovy baby, yeah, it’s my two best friends, Bones and Spock!”

The squeaky sound of the doors opening and closing causes Jim to turn around. It is Spock.

“Right on time, Mr Spock,” says Jim, grinning easily, “Computer, save that Log and send it to Starfleet Headquarters.”

“Vulcans are never late, Captain.”

“What happened to Bones?”

“I killed him.”

“Ok, cool.”

“Let us watch your Earth film.”

“Alright, Spock, just give me a minute.”  
While Kirk goes to load the film, Spock observes that Jim has made some changes to his room for the purpose of their “movie night”. There is a pile of “junk food” on Kirk’s bed, alongside a selection of blankets and cushions. As the film begins, Jim jumps onto the bed, and beckons Spock to join him. He perches at the foot of the bed, cautiously. Some rather upbeat music that reminds Spock of the songs he listened to during his teenage years on Vulcan start to emanate from the screen. He turns to pay closer attention to the film.  
“Captain, what is the title of this film?”

“ _Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery_ ,” smiles Jim, tearing his eyes away from the screen to look at Spock, “Oh, and please, make yourself comfortable. I replicated cushions for the occasion.”

“This amount of cushions seems to be a tad excessive, Captain.”

“Well, I need these cushions to cover my chub,” says Jim.

Spock frowns. Doctor McCoy’s implementation of the diet must have been taking more of a toll on Jim’s self image than he had realised.  
“You are not overweight, Captain.”

“No, I meant my raging erection.”

“.....Okay, Captain.” Yet another Earth euphemism he had yet to understand.

“DON’T judge me Spock, Mike Myers is a very…” Kirk pauses to lick his lips, ”shagadelic man.”

Spock cannot tell if his friend is attempting more crude Earth humour, or if he is genuinely erect and eager to copulate with Mr Myers.  
“Inquiry, Jim.”

“Proceed, Spock.”

“What is the definition of shagadelic?”

Jim points a manicured finger in the direction of the dancing man on screen, and replies, “He is, baby!”

\----------

“Danger is my middle name,” says Jim alongside Austin.

Spock raises an eyebrow. He will not be fooled that easily. Spock is well aware that Kirk’s middle name is Tiberius.

\----------

“Spock, you’re a bit of a Vanessa.”

“Jim, you bear a number of similarities to Mr. Powers.”

“Why, Mister Spock,” Jim bats his lashes at Spock, “You almost make me believe in mojo.”

\---------

They watch as on screen, a small stage that vaguely resembles the transporter room revolves to reveal a selection of scantily clad women, who are introduced as the “fembots”.

“Oh!” utters Kirk, “Spock, Mudd’s robot women were totally fembots!”

Spock admits that he does see the similarities, particularly later on in the film, when the fembots heads explode due to the illogical behaviours of one Austin Powers.

“Spock, this is great, we’ve gotta watch more of these,” says Jim, “I’ll remember to do this dance if we run into any robots again.”

“I am sure I would find that quite amusing.”

“Ooh, I’m sure you would, you cheeky minx.”

“Huh?”

\----------

As the groovy credits roll, Spock cannot deny that he has found _Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery_ (1997 American spy comedy film directed by Jay Roach) to be thoroughly entertaining. Kirk observes the way the Vulcan has completely reclined into the pile of cushions. He looks rather relaxed. A knitted blanket covered in a pattern of multicoloured stars lies across both of their laps. Good vibes all around.

“We should watch another film next Friday night!”

“I would enjoy that very much,” admits Spock.

Jim scrolls through his PADD, looking through the Enterprise’s movie archive.  
“How about… The Hobbit?”

Spock’s posture stiffens at once.  
“I would prefer not to watch that particular film, Captain.”

Jim laughs, “Is this about that song that Hikaru and Pavel found on space youtube? I promise I won’t tease you about _The Ballad of Bil_ -”

Spock raises in an eyebrow in a manner that Jim interprets as _shut the fuck up or I will not invite you to my birthday party_. He shuts up, as requested. And then he continues talking.

“Alright Spock. What about _Mamma Mia_? It’s Nyota’s favourite movie.”

“My mother is quite partial to the music of ABBA. I believe I would like to watch that film.”

“Groovy, baby!” Jim gets up off his bed, and brushes the crumbs of space crisps off his pants, “Same time, same place, next week, then?”

“Indeed, Jim.”

Jim hugs Spock goodbye.  
“Sweet dreams, Spock.”

“Likewise, Jim.”

“Randy, baby!”

As he leaves Kirk’s quarters, Spock affirms to himself that agreeing to having a "movie night" with Jim was, indeed, quite logical.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully, something here was amusing 2 u ;-)))))) 
> 
> live groovily and prosper, babes!


End file.
